What happens in China, stays in China.

Last Post I'll Ever Make Here

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:14:17 GMT

If you're a huge fan of SNSD, Wonder Girls, or whatever other girl groups are running around Korea right now, this post is probably not for you. However, if you're tired of the endless supply of bubble gum pop that these girls produced and are looking for a group with a little more sex appeal and substance and a little less jail bait and wank, come in and meet the girls of:

CSJH The Grace

(CSJH The Grace Pimp Post)

Closing Journal, Opening Community

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:53:06 GMT

Someone has pointed out the benefits of having a community instead of a journal for fanworks, so I'm switching. This journal will remain public and all entries as they are but I will no longer update it. Feel free to defriend it. You can find my new work at kissing_kisung. Sorry for being so fickle and thank you for putting up with me. I have sent invitations to everyone who has friended this journal but I don't know if you received them.

Fanfic: If Only

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:12:26 GMT

Title: If only
Pairing: Leeteuk/Ryeowook
Genry: Angst
Warning: Suicide
Prompt: 28. Choking
Summary: Ryeowook sits with Leeteuk in the hospital after his suicide attempt.

For the 100 Fic Challenge. you can find my archive here.

Ryeowook stares straight ahead at the light blue wall. He follows the cracks in the paint with his eyes, wondering what eyes have traced this same path before him. The noise form the hospital is buffered by the closed door, a soft hum beyond it of nurses running back and forth, thinking about dinner while lives hang from their fingertips. He wonders what that must be like, to taste death everyday then go home to your nine to five husband.

The heavy, stale air chokes him. Too heavy to pass through his constricted throat. The soft beep of the monitors stirring through it and keeping pace with his heartbeat.

"Why did you do it" His lips barely move, the words a breath escaping from his body, low and harsh. His hands curl into tight fists, the impotent rage coursing through him stiffening his shoulders. "If you hadn't changed your mind and called Siwon at the last minute, you would be dead instead of here with me right now."

He turns to meet Leeteuk's gaze, his own throwing accusations that make the elder drop his in shame.

"I'm sorry," Leeteuk's voice is even lower than Ryeowook's, "I won't do it again, I swear." His words drift off, and Ryeowook is not sure if Leeteuk spoke at all or if the conversation is only happening in his mind.

He reaches out to touch the bandages wrapped tightly around Leeteuk's wrist with a fingertip, running it up his arm, almost as pale as the bandages and past his shoulder. He cups Leeteuk's face with his palm, and Leeteuk turns into the touch. His thumb runs over paper thin eyelids, the tracery of veins painting an intricate map that melts into long eyelashes, down across razor sharp cheekbone. Those sinful cheekbones that had always tempted him. Tempting him to touch them to see if he would bleed. Never had they been so prominent. He leans down and presses soft lips against chapped, dry ones.

Images run through his head, the blood pooled in the restroom. So much blood swirling through the water, Leeteuk's blood. Ryeowook's razor blade laying innocently on the edge of the tub.

If Leeteuk hadn't regretted it at the last minute, if Siwon hadn't picked up his phone, if there had been traffic that day, if... if... if...

When he pulls back, his face is wet.

He carefully lays down a bottle of pills on the nightstand. Thirteen pills, magic thirteen, strong enough to do the job.

He walks away without looking back, stopping only when his hand is on the doorknob, "Don't mess up this time."

If Leeteuk hadn't called Siwon, he would already be free.

He pulls the door open, and as the hospital noise fills the room, he's not sure if the quite "I won't" was spoken at all. Not like it matters, he thinks as he wipes Leeteuk's tears from his face, dead men don't speak.

Gravity Parody

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:45:48 GMT

I have 100 subscribers on KiSung85 and 50 on NishiKato85, so here's a parody to celebrate. I made this one a long time ago but was hoping to find a higher quality video. If anyone knows where I can get it, please let me know.

The butt comment is in reference to this clip.

Signal Parody

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:35:34 GMT

I have two unfinished Arashi parodies that will probably never see the light of day. Since I promised a Jpop parody, I decided to go with KATTUN instead. You might not want to watch if you're a diehard Akame fan. :D

A Little Wish

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 04:16:26 GMT

Title: A Little Wish
Fandom: Super Junior/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossover. I'm fudging the timelines to have this happen.
Pairings: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook is main, but tons of ninja pairings.
Genre: Crack!Humor
Rating:PG-13
Prompt: 51 Aliens
Summary: Ryeowook makes a wish to the wrong person.

For the 100 Fic Challenge. 5/100. You can find my archive here.

Thanks to aoimidorifor reading this in various stages of progress. All mistakes are purely my own.

Anya is reading her list of all the ways she can castrate Xander when she feels someone sit on the other side of the bench she occupies. It’s one of her favorite past times, a quick pick me up that always brings a smile to her face. She’s getting to her favorite one, involving scotch tape and a ball of pink yarn when she hears the small sob that escapes her companion.

The girl sitting next to her is as delicate as a doll. She has dark eyes and razor sharp cheekbones that give her an exotic look. Her short hair accentuates her sharp features and her bangs throw her face in shadows as tears roll down the hollow planes of her face. The last time Anya saw someone this adorable she threw her off a cliff. She’s busy trying to remember where the closest cliff is when she finally hears the girl speak.

“I hate him,” she mutters to herself and Anya sighs as she decides work takes precedence over exterminating small, adorable creatures.

“What’s wrong?” Ryeowook looks up and meets the kind eyes of a stranger. She looks foreign, young, and very pretty in an understated manner. The type of girl that would be considered plain looking in his world. Her understanding smile makes him want to spill his darkest secrets.

“No…nothing,” he manages to get out before bursting into sobs again, his thin body shaking with the force of them.

She slides her arm around his sharp shoulders, offering soft comfort. Ryeowook doesn’t know why, but he suddenly finds himself confessing things that he would never be able to share with friends. “He.. He didn’t wait for me!” he wails, “we were going to do it together but I was held back at work and he didn’t wait for me!”

He looks up to meet her gaze again, his own overflowing with tears and his lower lip trembling, bringing to mind the image of pitiful kitten.

“Who didn’t wait?” the lady asks, and her Hangul really is amazing for a foreigner.

“Kyuhyun! We were supposed to seduce Mimi together but I was late and when I got home he had already done it by himself.” He pauses to take in a shaky breath. “The worse part is that we had it all planned out. I was going to masturbate in the room and Kyuhyun was going to ask Mimi to help him with his Chinese, then, when they came in I was going to pretend I didn’t notice and call out Mimi’s name. Then Kyuhyun was going drag him to the bed and Mimi would be all stuttery and we would all be naked and have really hot sex but Kyuhyun didn’t wait for me!”

Ryeowook cries tears of disappointment into the foreign girl’s shoulder, not sure why he’s telling her such a personal thing but glad someone is here in his time of need.

“Well, really,” the girl huffs, “leaving people out of threesomes is just plain rude. Like that time with Argnar the Magnificent and Polymithus the Hard, they got started without me. Well, Polymithus has never been able to be that hard once I got done with him if you know what I mean and let’s just say that Argnar was never that magnificent to begin with. Don’t mess with a vengeance demon if you can’t handle decapitation, I always say.”

The girl keeps muttering to herself, and when Ryeowook hears something about black beetles and a potency spell going wrong, he wonders if the girl is slightly insane. He starts thinking about ways to extract himself from the situation. He already has enough insane fan girls in his life, he doesn’t need other crazy people that don’t even contribute to album sales.

“Um.. I think I better go back… Kyu and Mimi are going to worry and…”

“But don’t you want to make him pay? Don’t you wish he could feel the pain he put you through?” The girl looks at Ryeowook eagerly, her face full of sympathy and something Ryeowook can't quite put his finger on.

“Not really,” Ryeowook replies thoughtfully, “it would just be nice if he could wait for me. It’s like sometimes all he cares is about having sex and doesn’t think about anyone else. Sex, sex, sex, like he never thinks maybe I want to be part of it too. Sometimes I wish..”

“What, what do you wish?” The girl brings her face closer to Ryeowook, looking intently into his eyes.

He pulls away giggling at his own thoughts, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, “All Kyuhyun does is worry about having sex, like he’s controlled by his penis. Sometimes I wish he didn’t have one.”

“Granted,” the deep voice startles Ryeowook out of his thoughts. He looks up and gasps as he recoils from the twisted face in front of him. “Noona, you’ve been in the sun too long, you need a facial,” he whispers.

“Noona, you’ve been in the sun too long, you need a facial.” The young girl looks up at Anya with worried eyes. She lets her face return to normal, cheered by the fact that somewhere out there was a man that would soon discover he was missing a penis. Really, this girl couldn’t be more than twelve years old. Anya knew that Korea was a bit funny with the sex laws, but this was just too much.

“It must have been a shadow, I’m fine. Also, I’m late, I have to return home soon.” She grabs her list and purse from the bench and prepares to go back home. Her job here is done and the vengeance gig is a time consuming one.

The young girl blinks up at her, “Where’s home?”

“The hell mouth, of course. Like any self respecting vengeance demon would live anywhere else.” She gives the girl one last smile and disappears.

Ryeowook blinks to clear his eyes and when that doesn’t work, blinks again. The girl had been there one second and the next…not. He had obviously been staying up way too late to practice if he zoned out enough to miss her leaving. Well, it's time to go home and let Kyuhyun grovel for forgiveness anyways.

He lets himself into the dorm, hearing loud screaming coming from the living room. He walks in to find Sungmin and Shindong either wrestling or having sex on the living room floor. He really hopes it’s the former because there’s already one too many unidentifiable stains on the carpet, and besides, Kangin could walk in at any minute. As their token hetero, (and no matter what anyone said, according to him, all those nights with Leeteuk did not count) he always made a big deal of public gay sex being a direct attack on his heterosexuality. Ryeowook tries to respect his alternative life style because he knew that one, being a straight boy band member must be hard, and two, Kangin always whined like a five year old when things didn’t go his way.

He finds Hankyung attempting to feed Eunhyuk his tongue in the kitchen while his famous Beijing Fried Rice burns, and really, is there anyone in the entire group that is not having sex? Oh, that’s right, him.

He’s trying to decide if the rice is edible when the screaming starts. He leaves Hankyung and Eunhyuk trying to untangle themselves and their clothing and heads for the restroom. Kibum is already there, shirtless and jeans riding low on his hips. Ryeowook takes a second to appreciate the view before looking in to see what the commotion is about.

Kyuhyun is standing inside screaming while he and Yesung inspect the inside of his pants. Yesung stumbles out, wearing Kibum’s shirt, lacy pink panties, and what seems to be black silk ties wrapped around his wrists and ankles. “Oh my god, you’re right!”

Shindong and Sungmin come barreling around the corner and Ryeowook is glad that their clothing is mostly intact. “What’s going on?” Shindong pants and Ryeowook raises an eyebrow. The run was too short to warrant such breathlessness and Sungmin’s put out face makes Ryeowook think that it wasn’t a wrestling match Kyuhyun’s screams had interrupted.

Kibum looks back at Shindong, his arms crossed and looking as relaxed as ever. “Kyuhyun’s missing his penis.”

“What?” Shindong pushes a shocked Ryeowook out of the way and joins Kyuhyun in staring into his pants. “Oh my god, oh my god, it’s gone.”

“Don’t take the Lord's name in vain.” Siwon, Zhoumi, Eunhyuk and Hankyung had joined them at some point, and really, the hall was not meant to hold this many people.

“It’s not in vain, my penis is missing!” Kyuhyun shouts in outrage.

“You had it this morning.” Zhoumi’s brow furrows in concentration as he tries to think of where Kyuhyun’s penis could have gone off to since he last saw it.

Ryeowook pushes through the crowd that has gathered in front of him, kneeing Siwon (who by the sounds he is making obviously still has his penis), out of the way when he doesn’t move fast enough.

“This morning! You had sex again even though I stormed out last night?” He shoves Kyuhyun against the wall. “How could you?”

“I was totally turned on by the storming Wookie! And Zhoumi was there to lend a hand.” Kyuhyun gives Ryeowook his best puppy dog eyes until he remembers he is still missing his penis.

“The storming, it’s pretty hot.” Hankyung adds and Eunhyuk accidently steps on his foot. Hard.

“Maybe the aliens took it.” Donghae says from where he is now standing with his arms around Eunhyuk watching Hankyung smugly.

“Why would the aliens take Kyuhyun’s penis?” Kangin asks. And really, Ryeowook thinks as he peers around pink panty clad Yesung who had somehow managed to get in front of him again, the amount of people in the hall must be a fire hazard. “If they wanted one, they could have taken Heechul’s, it’s funnier looking.” Heechul leaps from behind Shindong to strangle Kangin and Ryeowook gives up trying to figure out how many people are in the hall.

“Guys!” a desperate Kyuhyun calls out, “I’m missing my penis! I’m very attached to it.”

"Not really," Sungmin points out, "since it's gone and all."

“Can you still feel it?” Kibum asks, “you know, like when they cut off an arm or a leg? Try to get a hard on.”

“I can help.” Zhoumi adds, “let me take off my pants.”

“Living room, NOW!” Leeteuk shouts from somewhere in the back.

They sit on the couches, the floors, and each other. Everyone is staring at Kyuhyun’s lap and he shifts uncomfortably next to Ryeowook.

“Ok,” Leeteuk starts with a weary expression. “Kyuhyun, please tell me what’s going on.”

“I went to the restroom and found out I don’t have a penis. Leeteuk, I DON’T HAVE A PENIS!” He shouts in a hysterical voice.

“Do you have a vagina?” Henry asks curiously, leaning over Ryeowook to take a closer look. “Do you have boobs?”

“NO!” Kyuhyun takes a quick look inside his shirt and continues, “no I don’t have boobs or a vagina! My penis is just…gone, and I want it back.”

Henry sits back looking disappointed, “Ryeowook would look better with boobs anyways,” he mutters.

“Hey, I would look great with boobs! I look sexy no matter what.” Kyuhyun pokes Henry in the chest to get his point across and looks at Ryeowook for reassurance.

“You would look great with boobs,” Ryeowook assures him.

"We already have to deal with Kangin's and Shindong's boobs." Yesung points out, "do we really need to start setting part of the budget aside for bras?"

"I don't have boobs!" rings out from two mouths as the same time another utters, "My boobs are sexy!"

Kyuhyun and Kangin turn to stare at Shindong, much like everyone else in the room. "What?" Shindong shrugs, "they are."

"No one in this room has boobs," Leeteuk gives Shindong a glare when it looks like he's about to protest, "now, does anyone have any idea of what could have happened to Kyuhyun's penis?"

"Aliens!" Donghae bounces out of Hankyung's lap. "They took it with their laser beams to do experiments and now Kyuhyun's penis is on another planet!" He gives Kyuhyun a reproachful look. "You always have all the luck."

Before Kyuhyun can launch into more hysterical screams about how having his penis go missing is NOT having all the luck Leeteuk speaks again. "Any other less insane ideas?" He gives a look around at the members but most of them have gone back to staring at Kyuhyun's crotch.

"Um," Ryeowook coughs to clear his throat, "um, I met this lady downtown, and I um, I kind of made a wish."

"What kind of wish?" Kyuhyun prods, eyes narrowed.

"I um, I wished Kyuhyun um, didn'thaveapenisandshesaidgrantedandnowhedoesn't." He takes a deep breath that sounds as loud as a cannon in the dead silent room.

"You what!" Kyuhyun explodes from the couch and rounds on Ryeowook.

"Why? I liked it!" Zhoumi wails from accross the room.

"Maybe he was trying to wish it was bigger?" Sungmin guesses, "Did you want it to be like Shindong's?"

"What a waste, I would have wished for world peace," Henry informs the room, "or maybe a wii."

Leeteuk buries his face on Kangin's neck and imagines he has a nice, relaxing job, like Walmart Greeter, instead of being the leader of a thirteen member band of which a member is missing a penis.

Ryeowook runs his hands down Kyuhyun's back and up again, letting his lips follow the trail his fingers had marked. "Kyuhyunnie, pleas forgive me, it was a joke, I didn't think it would really happen."

Kyuhyun continues to ignore him but lets his head fall back to give Ryeowook better access to his neck.

Ryeowook pushes him back against the pillows, straddling his hips. He nibbles his way from Kyuhyun's earlobe to his lips, grinding his erection against the younger boy's belly.

Kyuhyun glares up at him, dark eyes filled with lust. "If I had my penis right now, I would fuck you through the mattress."

Ryeowook smiles down at him, eyes brimming with mischief and want. "You don't have a penis, but i do."

Kyuhyun strolls into the kitchen, snags Yesung's cup of coffee and turns to give everyone a bright smile. Yesung is busy staring at where his coffee was two seconds ago and doesn't see the smile that makes everyone else a little weak in the knees.

"Stop smiling like that" Kangin manages to get out, "it breaks rule number 59, section C of the Kangin's Heterosexuality Is A Valuable Band Asset Handbook."

"Did your penis return?" Siwon asks

"No," Kyuhyun replies with another bright smile.

Heechul looks up from his soggy cereal, "Did you finally realize it's not worth missing?"

"No," Kyuhyun gives Heechul a decidedly less cheerful smile and Kangin breathes in relief.

"We'll deal with this later," Leeteuk cuts in. "We need to get to practice, everyone, let's go."

They all stare with their mouths hanging open. Yesung taps the side of his head to make sure he's hearing properly.

"Try... try one more time," Sungmin prods a shaky Kyuhyun. Again he opens his mouth and again a note so high that surpasses anything Ryeowook could produce emerges. The rest of the members cringe and cover their ears in pain.

"That's it!" Ryeowook shouts. "Vengeance demon my ass. You can mess with my boyfriend's penis, but no one, NO ONE, is allowed to have a sharper voice than me."

"Fine," Leeteuk pushes away from the wall he is leaning against with a determined look, "Super Junior is going to the hell mouth."

Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:54:00 GMT

Go sign up so you can write me fic and I can write you fic. :D

1234 Back Parody

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:51:04 GMT

Ok, this parody is dedicated to kuiper_belt because she requested:

An AST1 parody about how they're blatant SS501 rip-offs D: because seriously, SS501 could have done their songs 100000000000000x better. They're lucky 1234Back is catchy, otherwise I would completely feel ashamed of their existence for them.

I can only parody what I know, and I know almost next to nothing about A'STAR.1 (not even their names), and that's pretty much my parody right there.

Info Post

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:34:50 GMT

Ok, I'm done spamming everyone's f-list. All old parodies and fanfiction have been uploaded and moved from my personal journal, so everything posted from now on is new. I've just uploaded a new parody which I shall post shortly.

Here's some useful links so that you don't have to browse through the mishmash of fandoms for what you're looking for.

Intro Post: Tells you about what you can expect to find on this journal and gives you links to youtube channels and my tags page. Questions, requests, comments, suggestions, they all go there. If you leave me a question that is off topic on another post I might answer or I might be a bitch and tell you to ask it on the intro post. I'm functioning on too little sleep and not enough caffeine.

Parody Masterpost: An archive of all my parodies sorted into Jpop or Kpop, subdivided by artist, and listed in alphabetical order. I'm anal about organization, sue me.

Fanfic Masterpost: An archive of all my fanfiction, including the 100 Fic Challenge, divided by fandom and listed in the order written.

100 Fic Challenge Masterpost An archive of my 100 Fic Challenge fics because miracle______ said I had to.

We Can Make It Parody

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:33:56 GMT

It's My Soul Parody

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:29:06 GMT

Taiyou no Namida Parody

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:02:58 GMT

Real Face Parody

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:28:46 GMT

Don't U Ever Stop Parody

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:26:32 GMT

Summer Time Parody

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:19:16 GMT

Wake Up

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:42:53 GMT

Title: Wake Up (I'm so fail at titles. D:)
Pairing: HyungJoon/JungMin
Genre: Fluff and attempts at humor.
Rating. R

There's only one way to wake up Jungmin without being slaughtered. But it's not like Hyungjoon is about to share that information with anyone. His group members are sadistic enough to demand he awaken them all the same way.

He makes sure the door is locked, takes a deep breath, drops his pants and hits play. As Sisqo's voice fills the room, he starts dancing.

Ooh dat dress so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish

The thong he's wearing leaves nothing to the imagination. Bright red against his pale skin, matching his red face.

He glances over at the bed to find Jungmin has pushed up his sleeping mask, a faint smirk on his lips and his eyes slitted open.

She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong

Hyungjoon dances faster, bending over and shaking his ass in front of Jungmin's face, hoping to get this over and done with as soon as possible so that he can go die in a corner somewhere.

Finally, he hears the most beautiful sound in the world, Jungmin's mocking laughter, signaling that he is fully awake. He sighs in relief and walks over to shut the damn song off.

Jungmin's hand snakes around from behind, and Hyungjoon doesn't know when he left the bed, but as the hand wraps tightly around his partially hardened cock, he couldn't care less

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have the sexy charisma to dance around in a thong? You look like a flailing gorilla."

Hyung Joon has a clever retort ready, but the strangled "Ugh ah, oh yeah, god" that comes out of his mouth instead doesn't exactly convey it. His voice is still sand paper rough from sleep, and coherency has never been his strong point, so he settles for small moans that he's sure Jungmin can translate into, I hate you you bastard, please do that thing with your thumb again.

"Ah," Jungmin replies, "I see you've even reverted back to grunting now, your hairy cousins must be proud." and Hyung Joon hears I love you too, this thing right here? Oh, I can do much better than that.

Jungmin drops to his knees in front of Hyung Joon, pulling down the clingy material of his thong. He runs his hand from the tip on Hyung Joon's cock to the base, leaning forward and running his lips over the head, delicately licking it like a cat.

Hyung Joon lets out a frustrated groan and thrusts forward, just wanting Jungmin to hurry the fuck up.

As Jungmin finally stops teasing and takes him into his wet mouth, Hyng Joon remembers exactly why he keeps volunteering for Jungmin wake up duty.

I'm sorry, I was watching I love the new millennium and the song has been stuck in my head all day. Feel free to shoot me.

Seishun Amigo Parody

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 06:15:11 GMT

Weeeek Parody

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:10:51 GMT

Ok, I had a lot of complaints that the subs for Weeeek were hard to read so I re-subbed it and they're much clearer. I also changed a few words here and there, but nothing drastic.

Hoshi wo Mezashite Parody

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 04:57:12 GMT

Noona Is So Pretty Parody

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 09:48:32 GMT

O Jung Ban Hap Parody

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 09:47:03 GMT

Purple Line Parody

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:21:12 GMT

Ok, I already finished uploading all my Kpop parodies and moving my fic. All I have to do now is upload the Jpop and create a master post and I'll be all done. :D

Also made a few changes to Purple Line, but just very few and barely noticeable. The subs are also smaller and easier to read.

Rokkugo Parody

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:06:44 GMT

A Song Calling For You Parody

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:47:27 GMT

With U Commentary

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:30:40 GMT